Alright. It's a journal so I won't say much about the content. Except a general recommendation: write some stuff that's not about yourself. We're only interesting subjects for so long, and never as interesting as we think.

I like that there are threads in this to tie up. The auto-correction, especially. It'd be stronger if there were a premonition of the concluding image in an early entry -- if it were also a thread which ran from beginning to end and tied the whole thing up nice and snug. For a collection of journal entries its got a strong arc, easy potential to tie up like a narrative. At the moment it starts with "I only want to tell the truth now" and ends with "I'm a genius and I need a ladder." See what I mean? Doesn't exactly tie up. But it could, and well.

There are a lot of unnecessary little words. Opportunities for grace in phrasing, more rhythmic lines. Not necessarily poetic of course since it's not a poem. Examples:

1. The "I knows" and "it seems" clutter. It's a journal from your perspective. Anything you know you can just say, and we the reader will know you know it. To seem is to appear to be but not actually be. Since you've got the inside perspective, either you "want to tell the truth" or you don't, there's no room for seeming.

2. Lines like "everything was constantly moving like one of those motion blurred captures of cars in photographs" could easily be "everything blurred like a racecar in a photograph" or something equally simple and uncluttered.

The "unravelling like a sweater" simile is tired. It was tired when Weezer did it. You can do better.

Lines like "a temper and too many kitchen knives," "Paranoia is messy and rude," "I never mentioned the sparks for fear my mother would have them fixed" -- these are strong lines. They are direct and charged with meaning the reader feels rather than has to decipher or has explained to him. I'd recommend modelling the rest of the piece in this way.

If you do tidy it up to take advantage of the natural arc, consolidate similar references. The descriptions of the ex, the family history.

I'd also recommend siding either with exposition or symbolism. Most of this -- naturally, being journal entries -- is expository. It flat out explains what you feel or think, have experienced, etc. Most of the metaphors feel like sidetracks into the brush rather than lookouts meant to provide clarity. I think if you want to polish it as a creative work rather than offhand journal entries that you should choose one or the other to anchor the piece. A little imagery in exposition can go a long way, so long as it's clarifying. Likewise a little exposition is often necessary in symbolic or allegoric writing in order that we the reader not completely lose our way and the meaning thereby escape us.

You already know what I think of ellipses.

Yes, we do all lie about something. Try as we might not to. If anyone has lived who did not lie then we've killed him in every incarnation. The things we cannot attain we want most, so much that our love and hate for them cease to be different.